Posted by: Tuhin | July 24, 2007

4 Hours

1:15 a.m. – I am not able to sleep…or may be I don’t want to sleep.

1:20 a.m. – I switch on my reading light and play my favourite tracks on the system

1:23 a.m. – I want to write something. I don’t know about what but I can’t stop myself from scribbling on the papers. I don’t have a single drop of sleep in my eyes.

1:36 a.m. – Minutes just pass thinking about you. Can’t get you off my head. I force myself to stop bringing back the memories of you. I could not write a single sentence.

1:36 a.m. – I just found that my closet is half open.

2:42 a.m. – The closet drawer tempted me so much that I finally had to open it. I can see the gifts, read those letters, look at our photographs for hours. I wear the T-shirt that you gifted me. I feel the warmth of your hug in it.

3:03 a.m. – My coffee is almost ready.

3:10 a.m. – I love coffee, my best companion anytime, anywhere. Every sip of this beverage is so special. Today I made it in a very different style.

3:10 a.m. – (dogs barking) I hate these stray dogs when they murder the mysterious silent night with their incessant barking & howls. I again try to write while sipping the refreshing coffee.

3:30 a.m. – I finally finished it. Yes I did it. I knew there was something very important going on in my mind which I had to pen down.

3:56 a.m. – I can feel the lightness of the sky high flying bird. I am so relieved. Now just few more things and I’ll be off to sleep.

4:45 a.m. – I saw your snaps again, went through those letters once more. Could smell your scent on each & every page, could feel you when I touched your face on the photographs. I refrained myself from but eventually had to pick up your last letter. Tears roll down my cheeks. I wish you never wrote this letter at all. Wish things were on my side but I respect your decision. I try calling you but realise its almost 5:00 a.m. in the morning.

4:55 a.m. – I am at my gallery. I so feel like jumping off and come running to you just to see my beautiful sleeping like a child.

5:09 a.m. – Finished my last drag. Had more than my usual. I guess it’s time now. My eyes trying hard to remain awake. I take her pic in my hand and close to my heart. I lie down on my bed. I am going deep in my sleep and I feel so close to you now.

5:15 a.m. – I leave this world with your name as my last words. Thank you for loving me for once atleast. Wish you could be mine forever.

(My coffee was ‘very special’ today mixed with lots of love that would take me very close to God. I want you to know how much I love you and without you I don’t exist, so I came to see you for the last time and left the letter near you which I wrote last night especially for you)

“….I am leaving this world not ‘coz I am a coward but I feel so blessed and so happy with those days spent with you that I want to leave with a smile before I could have to face the days without you. I want to persist to be happy…..I want to remain being loved by you….”


  1. Biased: Im getn an aversion 2 d repetativ subject matter! a very dedicated 2 hr kinda post,,dont wana comment…

    Unbiased: Veryyyyyyyy cute!!!! sounds lika die-hard romantic…..
    ‘I am leaving this world……..I want to remain being loved by you….”–illustrates a supersexy attitude….minus 5.09 dis whol thg is very sweet!!! 🙂

  2. Felt like crying reading this

  3. Why can not people just move on….!! There is so much love in this world….give and recieve it!! Ending lives is the silliest thing that anyone can do….what if she would come back to you? Hope….yes…live with it…and string hopes do turn into reality!!

    Indeed, a wonderful post!! 🙂

  4. btw…I have tagged you!!…so check out my post and carry on the chain!! 😉

  5. tuhin…js clickd ryt nw….tis bn a year sins dis blog….thnx 2 d persn who inspired ya 2 start….u maq n amazin writer…gr8 talent well used!!!! God bless”

  6. what else

    “I can live with or without you”

    superb man u r really a love guru

    if someone in senti mood reads ur posts he will die crying and feeling love there 😛

  7. Thnx evy1…dis is 1 f my fav post

  8. Read it so late!!!!!!!!! welll my fav post tooo…. gr8 stuff da!

  9. Thnx Anuj…i din expct it 2 b so good…bt aftr such comments i like it 2 nw

  10. or is it that you have started liking it for some other reason too???? haan????? heheheh

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